If you are like me, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry because that means your life in high school was the pits. Of course, if you are like me, then college was excellent and you have a pretty great life now, so I take it back. I’m not sorry.

Probably every high school has this in-crowd of the cool people. Only a few people get to be a part of this in-crowd. Everyone else is outside looking in. Some people get to a point where they realize they are not going to be a part of that crowd and go on with life. Others try to figure out how to get into that crowd, in vain, because, hey, you are not cool like the in-crowd.

It isn’t until later that many of these people look back objectively and realize, what was so great about the in-crowd? And who decided they were cool anyway? The in-crowd did! They decided they were cool and created rules to keep themselves that way. Oddly, those on the outside looking in supported the rules and preserved the image, spiting themselves in the process.

After they get away from the immediate situation and gain additional perspective and context (for example, going to college), they realize how dumb this was. In high school being cool is about being another boring clone of sameness of the self-proclaimed “cool” people, whereas in college it is entirely different. In college, it is about being unique, interesting, and friendly, showing concern for and interest in others, and being true to yourself.

Additionally, once you spend some time away from high school, you start to see the other “cool” kids for who they really are, and you realize that some of them are really not that cool or interesting at all. It was all just a façade, supported by the immediate context. Once the context changes, the façade disappears. And it doesn’t bother you that you weren’t part of the in-crowd back then.

So here’s the question:

What about the organizations you are involved in today? Does your employment resemble high school or college? What about your church, or your neighborhood?

For example, how do you get to be one of the in-crowd at your job? What does it take to be cool? Are you considered cool because of your unique talents, because of your interesting perspective, because you are a valuable, concerned team member? Or do you have to conform and be just like the other cool kids to also be cool?

If your job, or any other organization you belong to, resembles high school, maybe you need a change of context. If you look at this in-crowd from a different, distanced, more objective point of view, maybe they won’t all seem as cool as they do from the work context. Maybe not being part of the in-crowd won’t be such a big deal.